The Hits Keep On Comin'

I had an interesting encounter with Mateos last night. This has been the year of him learning all about curse words, body parts and now -- sigh -- sex. Last night, he asked to have a 'private conversation' with me so he could ask me about a word. Last time we did this, he wanted to know what "shitwich" meant. So, I wasn't really prepared for the following exchange:

Mateos (in a soft voice): Dad, does sex mean when a boy sticks his penis in a girl's vagina.

Dad (reeling but clinging to composure, controlling facial expression): Yes...

Mateos (clearly having thoughts swirling in his head): He *sticks* his penis in her vagina??!?

Dad (catching breath, thinking fast): Mateos, let me be clear. This is something **only** adults do and it is private...

Mateos (interrupting, unable to control self): Why? Why would they do that? Dad, why would an adult _do_ that?!?

Dad (trying to be open and bring conversation to a close): Well, that's how adults make babies but this is an advanced conversation and I think we should talk more tomorrow and

Mateos (pointing vigorously at Dad): **YOU** stuck your penis in mom?!?

Dad (full body waffle and nervously smiling): er, Mateos there are some things that are private and I won't discuss with ...

Mateos (louder): But you did???

Dad (giving in to the inevitable, sighing): Yes, but this is very private. Blah blah blah.... (discussing the gravity of the conversation, the privacy of the conversation, etc.)


I did almost all the rest of the talking and tried to nip everything else in the bud. But later that night, Luciana and I were putting them to bed and he started smiling a little funny and looking at her and Luciana was like, 'What are you smiling about Mateos?' Needless to say she understood what that was all about when I explained our little chat to her later.

Wasn't really prepared for that conversation. Happened about 5 years earlier than I expected to be honest but it was an interesting moment. I doubt he will remember it 5 years from now but I am pretty sure I always will.